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"The Skin I'm In," by Danielle Drake-Burnette

The Skin I’m In

 

My skin is brown with traces of crimson

given to me by my father who is mahogany

a beautiful smooth dark espresso kind of brown

…with hints of red

 

My father also has a deep rich commanding voice

that would let you know in the instant that you heard it

whether you were going to get a

         ride in the swing that he made with his hands

         or the direction in which to move to pick a switch

from the peach tree out back

 

My body is tall and ample

given to me by my father who is a pillar of strength

towering over most everyone in the crowd,

so that if I got lost all I had to do was…look up

 

My daddy…

intense and intimidating to those who cross him,

…like the man who tried to call him Billy...

‘cause see, by no means is my father Billy or Willie

that signified being a boy to him and my father…is a man

so his name, is just Bill.

 

Now it’s one thing to take after my father but entirely another

to look like my father when all I wanted to be

was one of those cute perky kind of girls that all the guys want to date in high school

or when I say hello have the other person on the phone line say

“oh excuse me sir, I was looking for Danielle”

…when all I wanted was to sound like syrup dripping out of the bottle

on an easy Sunday morning

… sweet.

Or have men running scared because that sista’s too intense,

and women intimidated because her energy is so powerful

as if I could tone any of that down if I tried…

but that is not the skin I’m in.

 

And then one day while working on a play

I was asked to portray an African Queen of my choosing

I heard a name call out to me

an omniscient cry from the divine,

the sound of ancestors whispering the answers to my questions why…

like the resonance of a djembe playing lamba rhythms

I began to remember a warrior

 

Nzinga Mbande…Queen of the Ndongo and Matamba

kingdoms now known as Angola.

She had an interesting physique,

a blend of power, dignity & sensuality

and was rumored to have over fifty young men in her harem. 

 

A warrior because she lead a resistance against

the Portuguese for over forty years

with an army strengthened by runaway slaves

who knew that she would keep her people free from bondage...

…signing a peace treaty only after the Portuguese

brought reinforcements from Brazil

to aid the defeat of her army… 

…compassionate of heart, she couldn’t bear to see

her country war-torn & people tired.

 And on the day that the treaty was to be signed Queen Nzinga

arrived in full regalia worn solely by those of royalty. 

Noticing that there was only one chair in the room occupied by the king of Portugal,

and being a diva before the word existed she was not to be outdone.

She ordered one of the king’s servants to kneel and

sat upon him, pronouncing her arrival as true royalty

of the Ndongo and Matamba kingdoms.

…an outright refusal to pay tribute to the Portuguese king. 

 

We are cut from the same cloth

of women and men who

struggled and fought to stay alive

hoping one day they’d earn

the chance to die.

 

Cut from cloth woven with yarn

spun from discipline, determination and responsibility

from simple folk with one goal in mind…

survive and pass on this legacy.

 

They say that to those that much is given

much is required…

 

This requirement dictates that

living and giving come from

uncomfortable spaces

personal places…

utilizing gifts given to me…to us

by the Most High

 

Going within to connect with individual creativity

putting into plain view the lessons that

your SoulsJourney has learned and taught

in its existence through eternity.

 

Overcoming judgment based on physical appearance

cause what does outer beauty have to do with anything

when I was brought here to write, to speak, to learn, to teach

…to conquer society’s ills through illumination and understanding…

what I give to you is me…my experiences.

Not good or bad, just experiences

that create the individual that stands here before you

slowly becoming comfortable shedding the clothing that hides my spirit

unabashedly reclaiming residence in Eden.

 

So understand that if I somehow refuse to diminish

my power, courage and intensity…for you,

know that it is in my infinite design,

and the skin that I’m in requires that I stand tall,

‘cause I am so much more

…than a woman.

 

 

--Danielle Drake-Burnette

 

(From CAST IRON LIFE: A Collection of Poems and Recipes.)

 

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